MY NAME IS ASHER LEV

Journal 4

Andrew Beck

Period 7 2/13/99

Mr. Luizzi

Chapter 4 signifies a turning point in Asher's life. In the previous chapter we discovered Asher's intense hatred for Stalin, for it is Stalin's death that has prompted the Rebbe to send Aryeh and his family to Vienna. This chapter begins by demonstrating how the insecure Asher does not feel comforted and secure at home. When he asks his mother if he can draw her and she responds with a no he is taken back. Drawing is the one thing that makes Asher comfortable and secure and allows Asher to express himself freely. His mother's "no" signifies that he is not considered in this move to Vienna. In response to this, Asher looks for support in other places.

He first turns to Yudel Krinsky, his real friend and mentor ever since his mother went to school and was no longer his "big sister". Knowing that he cannot help Asher, Yudel can only try and calm Asher's worries. That does not help, so Asher turns to his drawings. Asher's drawing of Stalin, demonstrates that he hates Stalin and cannot go to Vienna. Asher too knows that Yudel hates Stalin and hopes that Krinsky will take him under his arm. Yet, Krinsky cannot offer anything else, so Asher moves on to his Uncle Yitzchok. Each person being farther and farther away from Asher's "inner circle"-his parents, friends-Yudel, his Uncle and so on.

When Asher's Uncle proves to be of no help Asher is lost. When he is back at home his father questions him to why he would go through such lengths to stay home and not move to Vienna. But his father does understand. He dismisses Asher's drawings as foolishness-the very way that Asher is expressing himself that he does not want to go to Vienna.

Asher constantly complains, with no effect, that he can't go to Vienna. One day Asher walks along the parkway thinking of how all of this, his street, will be gone when he moves. He draws. His most significant is of a brother and sister that he watches. He draws them later in different ways. One has the two crossing a country road, them laughing, chasing a butterfly, walking under trees, reading and talking. This reflects the care free and innocent ways that his parents had, possibly before him. It is possible that Asher feels guilty and wishes his parents were together more often and more relaxed.

Later in the chapter Asher sees his great mythic ancestor again. Asher asks, "If You don't want me to use the gift, why did You give it to me? Or did it come from the Other Side?" Asher feels guilty here and it seems that he wants to be good and please his father but can't. Asher is very confused, all he can do is comply and he goes for passports in the morning.